It's amazing what you learn about yourself when you examine intense feelings you are having and try to figure out why you are having them. Ever since getting our puppy I have been "on edge" most of the time and quick to jump all over the kids for not doing something I think they should be doing. I'm much more snippy than I normally am and I can't really relax...even though it looks like I am when I've got my feet up reading a book. :) The only time I feel truly relaxed with normal blood pressure is when the puppy is in his kennel quietly asleep. What REALLY causes my blood pressure to elevate is when he's out in the dog run outside (which we are trying to get him used to) and barking a high pitched bark for the entire 1/2 hour we have him in there. We're putting him in 2-3 times a day to try to acclimate him to it but he REALLY doesn't like it. I just keep feeling bad for my neighbors who are probably hearing what I'm hearing and probably getting really mad at us for getting a dog. :)
I didn't really put all this together until I went to run errands and tried to figure out why I was so happy to be out running errands and feeling an extreme need to get away from everything. I finally realized it's because I have no "control" over this puppy nor do I have any expertise or really even basic knowledge about dogs. I didn't have a dog growing up and my experience with dogs as an adult was having one for 1 week when I was single...then it threw up and pooped at the same time on my carpet and I found a nice family for it to go live with. Then we had Toby for 3 months a couple years ago. Now this little guy...who really is cute and really a good puppy as far as puppies go...but I just don't "know" puppies and I don't know how to make him do what I want him to do. It is taking me back to the potty training days with my kids...in my opinion the WORST phase of a child's life...when I couldn't "make" my kids go potty in the toilet if they didn't want to.
So what I'm gleaning from all of this self examination is that I like to have full knowledge and be in control of every situation and I get very anxious if I'm not. So any words of wisdom anyone can share with me would be much appreciated! :)
hahahaha awwww.. i think my mom felt the same way with Walter!!
ReplyDeletehe did get much, MUCH better after a little time!! hopefully yours will, too!! :)
Julie, I am you in duplicate! I find being utterly out of control with a baby and toddler is bearable because they are human. But I too never had a dog. When I discovered they were more, or as difficult, as a child, I nearly fainted. I was willing to be out of control for my child but for a dog? NO.
ReplyDeleteAnd off he went to a better home on the Jersey shore. Very clarifiying to me as to what I can take and what I am not willing to take.
We are what we are. Once I accepted what I am, I found him the best home with people who ADORE his maniacal breed. And our lives have been relatively peaceful since then.
Extend it as long as you can, but without a love and connection with dogs, I for one think it's a losing battle.